My Birthday Gift To Mommy

I figured it is probably time that I explain the whole new look that mommy is sporting. I've noticed the stares that we get and I here her explain a story that is in no way shape or form how it all went down. So here it is, picture this it was the night of mommy's birthday and it was time for night-night. There are 2 things I still don't quite understand 1)Why I go night-night in my own room when Mommy and Poppa get to share one and 2) Why they have a big comfy bed and I'm confined in a wooden prison! Back to the story so mommy put me in my bed and she laid on the floor next to it, she does this every-night and I hold her hand, I think it helps her to go night-night so I do it for her you know. Well I didn't want to go to sleep with only giving her a card on her birthday so I decided to share somethings in my bed. I tried to give her one of my ugly dolls by tossing it over the side but she didn't even flinch, then I tried to hand her a paci through the bars but she apparently didn't want that either so I decided to make one last effort and give her my half full ba-ba. I stood up in my bed and tried to hand it to her but she wasn't looking so I let it slip from my hand, well next thing you know there was a "thump" and then I heard mommy say something along the lines of "that was not cool Augie" I know you are probably gasping right now to;can you believe it,she didn't like the ba-ba birthday gift and actually said that it wasn't cool???? It was totally cold it had been out of the refrigerator for like 10 whole minutes. I got really upset when she left and then poppa came in, but it wasn't poppa's birthday and mommy and I needed to sort things out. Well the whole thing just exhausted me and when I woke up the next morning I saw the new gift I had left mommy! I gave her a purple eye,I mean how cool is that? She looks a little silly but she tells people everywhere we go what I gave her so she must really love it! Plus everyday it gets a little darker and changes colors.So your welcome mommy,I'm sure it will look great on your new drivers license!